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lyrics

I work in advertising, where our motto and our creed
Is to sell all sorts of things to people they don't really need
I get capitalism and its role from day to day
That's just how the world works, and I've got bills to pay
But we're asked to put certain things delicately
While at the same time, keeping things rated PG

Lady garden
Time to tidy up down there
Lady garden
Goodbye to unwanted hair
If you don't tame your lady garden
You're a filthy slob
But if I say the word 'vagina'
I could lose my job

I'm not someone who subscribes to a gender binary
I think gender's not determined by the parts with which you pee
You're fine to call your genitals by any name you choose
And to be honest, lady garden's not the term I use
But we're asked to keep it fluffy as we write
And to make the nether regions seem polite

Lady garden
Time to tidy up down there
Lady garden
Goodbye to unwanted hair
If you don't tame your lady garden
You can't leave the house
And you'll never be forgiven
By your lover or your spouse

If it were up to me
I'd say, "just let it be
and do whatever you're inclined to do"
Although it makes me nervous
I'm just here to sell a service
So I'm trying to make it appeal to you
But in a vague, non-threatening way
So sit back and relax
As someone rips your pubic hair out with some heated wax

Lady garden
Time to tidy up down there
Lady garden
Goodbye to unwanted hair
If you don't tame your lady garden
You can't leave the house
And you'll never be forgiven
By your lover or your spouse

Lady garden
Time to tidy up down there
Lady garden
Goodbye to unwanted hair
If you don't tame your lady garden
You're a filthy slob
But if I say the word 'vagina'
I could lose my job

credits

from Songs From Radio EUGH - Vol. 2, released March 12, 2022

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Troubadette New Zealand

In the 12th century, troubadours sang songs of chivalry to noble families. In the 21st century, Troubadette sings songs of bikini waxing, dismemberment, and some guy's dick to anyone who'll listen. Channeling the energy of a kindergarten teacher and the wisdom of your favourite wine aunty, Troubadette has been making musical mayhem across Aotearoa for over 20 years. ... more

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