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Irreconcilable Differences (The Garlic Song)

from Boneless Romantic by Troubadette

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about

This song was originally written in 2012 during February Album Writing Month.

lyrics

Relationship post-mortems are never that much fun
A necessary evil, but they've just got to be done
'Cause when you've let yourself believe you might have found the one
It helps to figure out where you went wrong

And just for future reference, I thought you might like to know
The time we spent together wasn't total pain and woe
But now as it all has to end, it really goes to show
I should have seen this coming all along

You bought me a new toothbrush and I should have got the hint
You wouldn't ever kiss me until I'd eaten a mint

You don't like garlic
And I just don't understand
You don't like garlic
And you call yourself a man
You say it shouldn't be a dealbreaker, but oh, the deal is broke
I could have dealt with you not liking lettuce, beans or artichoke
But you don't like garlic
So there's no hope

The way you'd run away from it, I must admit, did sting
For quite awhile I thought it was some freaky vampire thing
But then I realised, actually, you're just kind of boring
And can't quite hack a flavour so extreme

And it's sort of depressing, cos aside from that you're great
My parents liked you, and it's nice to find a guy who's straight
At least I know you'd never steal the food from off my plate
But all these things can't possibly redeem

The fact that you can't handle it, I'm really not sure why
It's not the type of onion that's supposed to make you cry

You don't like garlic
And I just don't understand
You don't like garlic
And you call yourself a man
You say it shouldn't be a dealbreaker, but oh, the deal is broke
I could have dealt with you not liking lettuce, beans or artichoke
But you don't like garlic
So there's no hope

I wish you all the best and I hope one day you find a love that's true
Who's much nicer than me and who likes the same boring food as you

You don't like garlic
And I just don't understand
You don't like garlic
And you call yourself a man
You say it shouldn't be a dealbreaker, but oh, the deal is broke
I could have dealt with you not liking lettuce, beans or artichoke
But you don't like garlic
So there's no hope

credits

from Boneless Romantic, released June 17, 2016

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Troubadette New Zealand

In the 12th century, troubadours sang songs of chivalry to noble families. In the 21st century, Troubadette sings songs of bikini waxing, dismemberment, and some guy's dick to anyone who'll listen. Channeling the energy of a kindergarten teacher and the wisdom of your favourite wine aunty, Troubadette has been making musical mayhem across Aotearoa for over 20 years. ... more

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